Prodigal

I really love this song. It doesn't seem to matter where you are on your walk with Jesus, face it, your humanness is hard to escape. When I listen to this song, I am reminded of the tug-of-war I like to play with God. I'm always fighting Him over who gets complete control. I like to play this game where I try to shoulder as many burdens as I can, whether they are mine or someone elses, meanwhile I try to figure out how I can best fix them. Inevitably, it breaks me. I crumble under pressure. I forget my limitations...I forget that is not my job...I forget His awsome strength. Maybe it's a trust issue, maybe it's my pride, actually it's probably both. I do this the most with my own burdens. I hang on to them, turning inward for solutions. Then I wonder why I feel so isolated from community. Why don't I hand them over to God and let Him take care of them? Why don't I just trust that He really does have it all figured out? Why can't I get past this human way of thinking? Anyway, this may not be the most incredible song ever written or recorded, but it reminds me that my daddy is always there, He is always taking care of me, and He always loves me, in spite of my imperfections. yay.


i've held out as long as i can
now i'm letting go
and holding out my hand
daddy here i am again
will you take me back tonight?

i went and made the world my friend
and it left me high and dry
i dragged your name back through the mud
that you first found me in
not worthy to be called your son
is this to be my end?
daddy here i am
here i am....

--casting crowns