MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

...remember that
Jesus loves you...

...alot.

My Turn on the Soapbox

So this is my family. That's my grandpa on the right in the red shirt and cap. It's a rather large family...this picture only includes a little over half of us. It's a good family. Very supportive and loving. My grandpa was a good man. Very devoted to his family. Loyal to his country (he was a WWII vet and very proud of it). But most importantly he loved God. He loved talking church with my dad. He pretty much just loved talking about anything to anyone that would listen. My grandma told me today she imagined that had he been with us at that particular moment he would have been talking our ears off. I seconded that notion and replied that he was definitely not very fond of quietness...he spent all of his time either talking or snoring.

I spent the past few days with my grandmother. Things are so different now. I walk into her house and can't help but feel like something is missing. There is a void...and no one knows what to do about it. I guess that is because there is nothing we can do about it. Except miss him and cry. Spending the last forty-eight hours holding the hand of a grieving widow definitely puts life into perspective. I love the Foundation, but I didn't want to come back. I think it is because even though my grandmother doesn't know Jesus, I knew He was there. He was holding her hand, too. He was crying, too. Oh Jesus is definitely present here at the WF. I guess I am just thinking about all the scriptures where Jesus says to comfort the widows, care for the orphans, feed the hungry, cloth the naked...you get my drift. Why do we all waste so much time sitting around thinking only about ourselves? We keep asking and asking and praying and praying...God, how will you use me? What will you do through me? What is Your will for me?
Should I do this? Should I go there? Blah, blah, blah. When will we realize that it isn't about us? When will we get up off our butts and start going out and doing the things Jesus has asked of us? He didn't tell us to sit around and try to figure it out first. He said GO. Comfort the widows. Care for the orphans. Clothe the naked and feed the hungry. Make disciples! I'm tired of trying to figure it all out, ya'll. I can't do it. My human brain is just too limited. But I can go. I can be His hands and feet. I don't have to understand it...and like I realized while I was sitting next to my grandmother, I don't even have to have the right words to say...Jesus is enough. Our willingness is enough. So let's go friends!!!

Uhhh.....Hello??????

....is there anybody out there?????

Okay, so you can tell that we are all really, really, really frickin' busy or just really, really, really frickin' lazy because not a one of us has posted in like over two weeks. Therefore, in spite of the numerous demands upon my life, I have decided to take a smidge of time to break through the lethargic mold and post something!!! So here it is!!!! My post!!! Yeah. Unfortunately it can't be a long one....I have to go to work soon...I can only ignore the demands for so long, ya know? Anyway, I want you all to know that you are much loved and I am praying for you during these busy times. I can really see God working in mighty ways this semester in each one of us, and that excites me. I'm glad we can share and learn and grow and love together!!! Awww, it's sweet I know....okay I'm done, now get back to work!!!!!

A Birthday Post

I have been so blessed this weekend. Friday was so fun -- not only did I have an excused absence for a whole day's worth of classes, but I got to spend the day singing my little heart out with the beautiful ladies of the UK Women's Choir in Louisville, Ky. We performed-slash-recruited at two high schools, goofed off at the mall for a while, and then finished off the day with the most fantastic concert at the ever so beautiful Cathedral of the Assumption. It was a good day...I just LOVE being in choir. I love the people, I love the music, I love it all. Sigh.

Following our evening concert, my most wonderful-est boyfriend picked me up in Louisville and instead of returning to Lexington, we proceeded southward to Bowling Green to spend the next few days with my parents. I'm such a homebody, ya'll. You just don't even know the homesickness I've been feeling for my parental units lately. They are wonderful God-lovin' people, I really, really love them and really, really have missed getting to spend time with them. You see I hadn't been home since May, so this weekend was a welcome break from the Lexington life...don't get me wrong, I totally love my life here. It is just that I have always been close with my family, and I have missed them. They completely spoiled Andrew and me by taking us to movies and feeding us more food than you can imagine. They also showered me with numerous gifts...which was fun...

Now it is Monday, and I am 23. I have had the most wonderful birthday. I have some really great friends who love me bunches and went out of their way to show me today. Roomie and Hulie kickstarted the day by getting up at the buttcrack of dawn to decorate my door with Disney princesses and bubbles. It made me smile. Bill spoiled me by taking me and Megan and Hulie out to lunch at a rather expensive and REALLY GOOD restaurant called Dudley's. It made me feel special. Andrew bought me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and had planned with Megan over a week ago to bake me my favorite cake: chocolate with cream cheese icing. It made me feel loved. So right now I am pretty contented. I think I will go to bed thanking my Jesus for the many blessings He has provided and the wonderful friendships he has given me.

Prodigal

I really love this song. It doesn't seem to matter where you are on your walk with Jesus, face it, your humanness is hard to escape. When I listen to this song, I am reminded of the tug-of-war I like to play with God. I'm always fighting Him over who gets complete control. I like to play this game where I try to shoulder as many burdens as I can, whether they are mine or someone elses, meanwhile I try to figure out how I can best fix them. Inevitably, it breaks me. I crumble under pressure. I forget my limitations...I forget that is not my job...I forget His awsome strength. Maybe it's a trust issue, maybe it's my pride, actually it's probably both. I do this the most with my own burdens. I hang on to them, turning inward for solutions. Then I wonder why I feel so isolated from community. Why don't I hand them over to God and let Him take care of them? Why don't I just trust that He really does have it all figured out? Why can't I get past this human way of thinking? Anyway, this may not be the most incredible song ever written or recorded, but it reminds me that my daddy is always there, He is always taking care of me, and He always loves me, in spite of my imperfections. yay.


i've held out as long as i can
now i'm letting go
and holding out my hand
daddy here i am again
will you take me back tonight?

i went and made the world my friend
and it left me high and dry
i dragged your name back through the mud
that you first found me in
not worthy to be called your son
is this to be my end?
daddy here i am
here i am....

--casting crowns

computer woes

grrrrr.....computers are such crap. okay, okay, i can be realistic...i suppose they are pretty handy for emails and paper writing...and yeah they help me keep in touch with people via facebook and blogger...but....grrrrrr....sorry, the truth is they mostly just tick me off and cause even more stress for me. boo on you computer. boo. here is my issue: #1. the first episode of frustration occured when i attempted to purchase a used and therefore cheaper textbook on Amazon.com. much cheaper than buying one from the bookstore. smart, right?? wrong-o...lots of money disappeared from my bank account on the day of purchase. over three weeks later, no book. i logged onto Amazon only to discover that i had been scammed, stolen from, used, annoyed. boo. much sadness for me. #2. second source of computer related frustration occured when i logged onto this very blog site, went through the normal routine and then bam...hit by a mega-virus. boo on computer hackers and their computers. i'm still working on finding forgiveness in my heart. and now here i sit, still fuming after staying up all night writing papers and randomly checking email and on whatever willing friend i can find at the moment (thanks ju). so, all that said, now you know that i may not be able to blog at regular intervals, but i'll still be logging on, randomly checking up on you....grrrr....boo on you computer. boo.

A Light Unto My Path

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." --Zephaniah 3:17

Do you have any favorite scripture verses?? Do you ever find yourself repeatedly going back to them, like they are the foundation of your scriptural knowledge?? Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm lazy or just not that into variety or something (this is a joke, not a good one by any means but you can still laugh). Sometimes I sit down for my quiet time and I just can't figure out what else to read, so I fall back on the ol' favorites. But then there are other times I read them and I spend the rest of the day marveling at their miraculous ability to reach into the very depths of myself like no other verse can. For me, some verses hold onto that magnificence for only a period of time, especially during times of intense trial or extreme joy. However, I have discovered there are some scriptures that I just can't seem to let go of. I have maybe three or four verses which seem to fit into all my life situations and those have become the verses that I go running to when I need to, or just want to hear God's voice. The Spirit really likes to whisper these verses in my ear, He just won't let me forget them. It is interesting, when He reminds of one of these verses and then I go look it up, I notice that the significance and meaning of the verse changes for me as I grow and change. Does that happen to you?? The words don't change, spelling and grammar are still correct, but the connotation transforms everytime I read it. And then I become so filled with wonderment that I can't decide if I want to stand up and shout out praises or if I want to continue quietly sitting and pondering the brilliancy of my God....His words are so powerful...it gets me everytime....

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." --Psalm 91:1-2